Lobster Song

I met a Jolly fisherman
home from the sea
have you got a lobster
you can sell to me?

Chorus:
Singing aye-tiddly aye,
Shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust

Oh yes sir, yes sir
I have two
and the biggest of the bastards
I shall sell to you

Chorus

So I took the lobster home
and I couldn't find a dish
so I put it in the place
where the missus has a piss

Chorus

In the middle of the night
I heard a grunt
and there's the fucking lobster
hanging from her cunt

Chorus

So the missus grabbed a brush
and then I grabbed a broom
and we chased the fucking lobster
all around the room

Chorus

Well we hit it on the head
and we beat it on the side
and we hit the fucking lobster
until the bastard died

Chorus

The moral to this story
Is very plain to see
Always have a shufty(look see)
before you have a pee

Chorus
That is the end
There isn't any more
There is an apple up me arsehole
And you can have the core.